Kamikaze
by Dekar Skeith
Summary: All styles of jutsu can be used in varying manners, sometimes, it can save your life, destroy it, or completely alter it.
1. Chapter 1

The Prologue

**AN/ This is a rewrite of a story I tried, but who cares because I only had one reader, although I would like to thank that reader, review maybe?**

**Disclaimer: Unless stated otherwise, I don't own nothin', not even some of the ideas.**

**Divine Wind**

The Prologue

Wrong Shikigami

"Hey! I can feel the baby kicking!" I said happily, pulling my head up and staring into my wife's eyes. My wife and I had invited the head of hospital, Tsunade, and Zabuza, one of my oldest comrades. My friend was a ninja from another land, but deserted that village when he had heard of an assassination plot going against his team of specialized ninja. He had deduced that the reasoning behind this was that the Mizukage was fearful that his new toy would try and take him down so they could take over the whole village. Crazy right, but today was a happy day though, the day when we figured out when the baby was due!

"Well, yes, I think she's due in the coming week." replied Tsunade.

"Now, now, it could be a boy!"

"I hope not…" I heard my wife say.

"Why not a boy?" I inquired. She didn't need to finish, because Zabuza had decided to fill in the blank, "If you think about it, another one of you, is possibly two more than this village can handle…" I had to reflect on my antics and nodded my head in acceptance. He snickered and continued on, "I hope the child isn't as hyperactive as you are!"

"Ah, Zabuza, it looks like you just don't have an appreciation for great humor!"

"I did, and then you decided to prank me every hour for a week…"

I grinned, "I had a lot of time on my hands and everyone else was busy. You were a great target though!"

"That grin can probably get you out of any trouble… You spiky-haired bastard…" He replied.

"At least I'm still your friend!" I shrugged.

He gave a noncommittal grunt and turned to my wife. "So, you married this guy because…?" We all laughed at this, mainly because he rarely made jokes, and partly because it was funny. The women were beginning to talk about aspects that men folk such as us would not understand, a cue to exit the building. We spent a while reminiscing about old times and what had been happening. Another peaceful afternoon was about to begin, and I had to change that.

"Well, first stop is to the bar!" I proclaimed with enthusiasm. Zabuza proceeded to follow. Everyone was looking towards me, but then I suppose that unexplained happiness will do that. I entered the bar, which was empty at this time of day, to the voice an instructor that was about to join the ranks of the jounin after being a special jounin for so long, "Minato! I believe that you should be at home attending your youthful wife!" proclaimed the bartender, "Well, already did that, and they got into subjects that I would rather not hear."

"I know that any child of yours will burn brightly with the flames of youth for many years to come! And do not worry, I have told no one about it yet."

"Yeah, thanks Gai! I'll just have the usual."

Zabuza and I proceeded to take two of the empty barstools, I sat down and saw Zabuza wiping off some of the tacks that I had placed there, "It's no fun with you, you already know everything I'm planning…" Zabuza nodded, "I think that, thanks to you, I've grown more paranoid about sitting on things then should be normal." After a few rounds and congratulations from both Gai and Zabuza(and several more failed attempts at practical jokes), we left and went our separate ways, Zabuza said he had opened a weapons store and needed to make sure that his daughter wasn't going crazy with all the new pointy objects on the nanny he had hired. "Zabuza, any offspring of yours shouldn't be allowed near weapons without a licensed professional and several others to restrain them…" Zabuza shrugged and continued on.

I still had to go and buy a few things, so I stopped by my favorite joke/book store in order to buy a few books and practical joke materials from the greatest pervert of them all. "Hey Ero-sannin! Did that shipment of orders come in yet?"

"Kid, can you seriously stop callin' me that?"

"The moment you stop calling me kid."

"Fair enough, now then, yes I got the shipment, although I don't know why anyone would order rubber chickens in bulk…"

"Let me see one of them… Oh, by the way, you're always wandering but why are you always here to see my orders done personally"

"Well, I don't trust you to not prank any of the personnel in a manner that is hideously insane, or them to not give you a massive discount… Besides, I want to see you prank some people."

The door opened and Zabuza was calling out to me. "Hey Minato! It's your wife, the baby is coming!"

"What?! I thought that the baby wasn't due until the end of the week!?"

"Well, it apparently thought it wanted out now, hurry!"

With that, all three started to rush towards the hospital.

**In another Dimension**

"**Where is he…"** I lord Kyuubi, needed not explain that I was pissed that some lowly humans had stolen my child. My usual calm demeanor had taken a violent turn that mad even the royal guards step lightly, I would have thanked them for the added personal space if I hadn't been so preoccupied with other thoughts. Thoughts of rending the human limb from limb.

"Lord Kyuubi, please forgive us, but it seems a ninja came and stole him, killing several other of our guardians in the process."

"**Then I shall have to travel through the mirrorwall in order to exact vengeance, do we have an available portal?"**

"Yes m'lord, but we don't know if it is the right village where he was taken."

"**I don't care, a human took my child, and so will humans pay!"**

It took only a few minuets to get everything ready, not because they feared my wrath, but they feared for the safety of my kit. I was told that I only needed to expel a small amount of chakra in order to forcefully summon myself into the world when my advisor stopped me, "Remember sir that once in the world of humans, you will be far weaker than you are here, and more susceptible to certain aspects of the mortal realm." I nodded, and stepped through.

The experience was painful, but it was my kit that I needed to save, so it did not matter. I was through, and I was pissed. I let out a feral roar as I charged headlong through the night.

**At Konohagakure**

I was currently waiting outside the delivery room, Tsunade kicked me out when I came in clutching a rubber chicken in my hand. I probably should have left that behind instead of clutching it in a death grip. The minuets started to go by, when another little surprise decided to be brought to me. "Hokage, there's a problem! It appears as though there is a demon on the loose! He's rampaging and getting dangerously close to Konohagakure! Everyone is doing what they can to try and stop it, but it looks like it is doing little more then aggravating the beast!" Tsunade popped out, "Minato it is nearly time… Umm… Minato?"

I turned to the messenger and said, "Please, leave us" the messenger left promptly, and I sorted through my emotions. I was in shock, I knew what had to be done. I looked to Tsunade, "Look, I'm going have to do something drastic, please inform no one that the baby is mine. I am going to have to use a sealing justu that will likely drain me of most of my chakra, there will be a man who comes to the village later and asks for sanctuary. Give that man refuge." Jiraiya spoke up,

"Minato, I'll head over and see if I can't slow down the Kyuubi for a while, you do what you have to do. I've been meaning to try out a new sword I've forged anyways."

"You do that, I'm gonna need all the time I have in order to prepare for this."

I dropped the fake chicken and ran off to meet with a great teacher, and dear friend.

**A private residence near the Hokage's Tower**

"Well, Minato, what brings you to my humble abode?" I heard the old man say.

"Look old man, according to Jiraiya, you are the best when it comes to learning Jutsu, right?"

"Kid, I taught Jiraiya everything he knows, so in essence, I taught you everything you know."

"Okay then read that scroll, and then I'm gonna give you some more bad news."

Sarutobi broke the seal and began to read. He began to shiver as he went through it and finally slammed it on the table, "You moron! What do you expect to accomplish with this technique!?"

"I expect to save the village, besides, that technique, took me the better part of five years to make, so I don't want it easily lost."

Well, to say he looked shocked was an understatement, I felt that I should say something to assuage his possible feelings of sadness.

"But you said that you had some worse news?"

"Yep, you have to go back to doing paperwork, and just remember old man, I've always believed in you."

He looked like a man ready to break, but I quickly turned and tore off.

**At the Hospital**

"How is the baby?"

Tsunade looked at me with tears in her eyes, "The baby is alive, but…"

I looked at her, and needed no more, a tear escaped my eye, but there was work to be done.

"Let me see my child. You don't need to say it, I know, she didn't survive."

Tsunade shook her head and gave me the small cloth covered bundle, she ran off and I uncovered it. The small tike had hair?! It was as blonde and as spiked as mine, So it wouldn't have mattered if I had tried to comb my hair, the damnedest thoughts pop up in a crisis. "So, it looks like you're going to be named Naruto now, huh? I'm really glad I got Jiraiya's permission beforehand on that name." So let me think about it right now, the shipment of rubber chickens came in today, Zabuza's new store had just opened, and my son was born today, is it just me or does my karma suck or what.

**At the Battlefield**

"Hokage, sir! We were nearly done for here, but if it weren't for Zabuza, Gai, and Jaraiya we wouldn't even be talking right now! We're also damn grateful that Orochimaru-sama sent us reinforcements of his medic nin, or else a lot of our wounds would have turned out fatal" I should have known about Zabuza and Gai, they were always looking for a good challenge and Jaraiya, the holder of the toad contract, was on top of Gama Buntas head was also challenging the fox directly, all around I saw sound ninja rushing to the aid of others that were wounded. "Look, I need you to read these orders at the end battle, I have a surefire way that will end this." I gave him a scroll and started to call out for Zabuza. It wasn't that hard to find him, he and Gai were at the front lines using succession of taijutsu that no mortal should ever have to experience the business end of, but this was no mortal, it was a nine-tailed demon.

"Zabuza! I have a way to defeat it, but I need your help! Everyone else, please provide us cover!"

Zabuza jumped back as the other shinobi began to desperately rushed the red demon, hoping that their own deaths would not be in vain. Zabuza was there, "What is it, I was kinda trying to kill that fox-asswipe."

"I have a plan to seal that demon in Naruto.

"Who the hell…"

I showed him the small bundle I was carrying, and he looked at me. "Damnit, it just had to be a boy, well we have our work cut out for us now and after we kick this demons ass!" I briefed him on what was going to happen, and he readily agreed to help me. We went off to a nearby cliff and we both began to perform a modified version of the jutsu I had created. I went through the handsigns that would seal my son's fate. _Snake boar ram rabbit dog rat bird horse snake_, I couldn't see what Zabuza did, but I felt that something went wrong. The shikigami appeared, but it looked strange. It's skin was tinted blue, wearing a black feather cowl, and golden eyes around black pupils. Then it began to talk.

"**Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk… You humans sure are a laugh, It looks like you're trying to seal that big ol' fox over there, right?"**

This was wrong, I stared at him, and knew fear. If the jutsu is wrong, who knew what could happen, I should have stuck to the original plan.

"**Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk, don't worry, since you two let me out for a bit, I'll be kind and also get the **_**other**_** demon that's hiding in the shadows."**

"What will you do?!" we both yelled in unison.

"**Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk, that's what I like about you humans, always easily worried. It's gonna be a surprise!"**

This strange shikigami then pulled out a large scythe from Kami only knows where, and extended it towards the night sky, ebon wings spread out behind it as it started to chant. It was strange as hell, I felt slightly calmed by his voice, it had a lulling effect on me. Off to the side I saw Zabuza shrinking, I felt bad, I had gotten my friend in it deep when it could have just have been me… Man am I tired, I feel like taking a nap. At least I get to see my son one last time, and now I rest with the knowledge that that crazy shikigami did indeed seal the Kyuubi and could only hope that the other demon had been also taken care of.

**AN/ I am not sure I want to keep using first person and sorry it's short, but I am lazy… read and review, for the love of the cakes that are birthed from pans, READ AND REVIEW!! I am also reminding you that it was the best of times and the worst of times while Tobi was always a good boy!**

Dekar Skeith


	2. Touchdown!

**lAN/ Yes, I've decided to keep on with first person, it's due to the fact that after writing the first few sentences I got into the swing of it, and it became fun! Well, all point of view changes will happen, and if anyone gets confused then you can tell me then I'll mark it more clearly next time, but for the most part, I might just stay in Zabuza, it's easier this way. Naruto's section has bad grammar because he is a little kid and this helps represent that type of thought pattern.**

Chapter 1

Touchdown!

Man, what the hell was going on? I thought that Minato had all his shit together, but something went down that night. I think that I did the jutsu wrong, but that doesn't matter anymore. It's been nearly six years since that time, and I was fairly worried that I was stuck in little kid mode, but it appears as though I have finally begun to grow. Over those years there have been several attempts on Minato's son, Naruto, whom I have been protecting and teaching since he was born. Luckily, the Third knew more or less what had happened and helped Naruto and I out by allowing me to keep my shop, although people looked at me funny for a while seeing as I still hadn't gotten out of the practice of going into Gai's bar. Not to mention that I had to get out of the habit of calling Tenten daughter, and that raised a couple of eyebrows.

Now Naruto is six, and I have to get us both signed up for the academy, which pisses me off since I'm already a shinobi in my own right. Oh well, at least now after my 'rebirth' I have increased my muscle mass and have begun forging a bigger and more powerful sword. Today is the first day of our academy, and not many questions were asked when I signed us up. That was due to the small fact that most people don't know what to feel when a child less then half their age has an aura of pure malevolence and anger. I had taught Naruto some of the basics including some other, ehem, 'less' studied curriculums. I even tried to stop him from doing all those goddamn pranks, but that was not as successful. Imagine what I had to live through, _two_ damn Minato's pranking me in _two_ damn lifetimes! It stopped soon after I decided to pull both him and my daughter to give them the talk about the birds and the bees, that shut him up for a whole week, and it was one of the most peaceful times I ever had, but Tenten was a shiny red beacon for a whole hour. I made sure that I taught Tenten before she went into the academy

The class was made up of pitiful examples of would-be shinobi. Looking through all the ninja hopefuls I knew some of them from around the village. I knew that besides Naruto, one going to pass no problem because he was calm and collected in every situation I've seen him, and trust me rhat I've tried to break Aburame's cool. The ability to control bugs helped him excel in what he did. There were three that could be excellent if they got rid of certain traits; Uchiha who had his head so far up his ass that he could probably taste what he had for breakfast; Hyuuga, who had the exact opposite problem, she really needed to figure out that she was better then she thought of herself; and Nara, who was a genius, but lazy as all hell. There were six others that I didn't bother reading up on since they might pass given the lowered standards, but that's not important right now. Our instructors were entering, and I had to see if I could keep from showing up the professors, or 'accidentally' teaching the kids certain advanced techniques. That was the plan until Naruto nudged me and began to ask for some help.

**After Class**

"ZABUZA MAMOICHI AND UZUMAKI NARUTO YOU'RE BOTH DEAD!!"

Yes! It all went perfectly! Even Zabuza, usually against encouraging pranks, helped me out on my prank! I behold the perfection. All the crap from the giant leather bag had exploded, and me and Zabuza were standing in the only safe place. Everyone else had a healthy brown color, but the smell wasn't what I remember. "Ummm… Zabuza, did you change up the plan?" I turned to him and he nodded, "What did you replace it with?"

"I changed the all the crap with steak sauce, you have to consider some of the factors of the prank. Such factors as where you are going to be when it is pulled, and the ability to escape, like this." He said he reached over and we got whisked away in a swirl of leaves. This was a new jutsu for me, and that meant that I had to activate the second most powerful technique in my arsenal. I began to initiate the power by getting his attention, "Hey Zabuza! I've got a question!" He's going to turn around and see in three… two… one…

"Oh damn it Naruto! No! What the hell are you trying to get from me!?"

The trap was set, and the chibi-fox-eyes technique was at maximum force!

"I wanna wearn how to use that special teweporting jutsu, pwease?"

Now came the steps of the aftereffect, the stage of struck eyes would happen any minute now… any minute… Yep should be- Oh crap, Zabuza is a boy, and he looks like he's going to go ballistic.

"Well, Naruto, it looks like I've got to teach both you and Tenten, and here I thought that I already taught you two that technique. Heh-heh-heh, this is going to be fun!"

And with that, I learned that my technique wasn't perfect, and would be punished with severe training for not knowing the mistake ahead of time. Until I heard Iruka, and I couldn't decide whether it was a good thing or bad thing, hopefully a good thing.

"There you two are! Get over here! You're both going back to class and clean it up!"

Nope, it was a bad thing.

**Back at the classroom**

"Man, can't you take a joke?" I heard for the hundredth time from the knuckleheaded orange midget, and that nearly made me snap, but I decided to calmly explain, "Naruto, shut your trap before I do it for you, with kunai. We both have to clean up the classroom, and I haven't complained yet so let us do this quickly so we can get back home sooner."

There were still some of the other classmates in the room, they looked at us funny but I'm used to it, and I've just got to endure it like I do every day, by being calm and collected

"Barely the first day and you both are already serving detention, serves you right you creeps!"

"Yeah, why the hell did they even let you two try to become ninja!"

"You don't deserve to be in the same class as Sasuke-kun!"

Alright, screw being calm and collected, several little brats just signed themselves up for the nightmare express. These are times that I'm glad I'm a little kid and I don't have much to answer to as I quickly went through some hand signs, "Hidden Mist Jutsu!" The mist covered the small classroom in a very thick fog, I could sense the annoying brats right now, and I knew that this was how they were going to fail there tests to become genin.

"Heh heh heh… Let's have a review, shall we class? The human body has eight vital points, and they are the throat, spinal column, lungs, liver, jugular vein, subclavian artery, kidneys, and the heart." I heard several kids whimpering, and they began to cry when the door slammed shut, "Now then, did you know that I found one more that is easily accessible?"

Having satisfied myself by smearing stake sauce on all nine points I released the jutsu, after which I gladly went back to cleaning the classroom. All the students were on the floor, and they probably fainted from fear. Naruto looked over at me and responded, "You know what you did there right now? That's the reason that we don't have friends right now…"

"Yeah, but I do not care, I wanted my fun."

"Did you ever go see Baa-chan? I think that you really need some help."

"Nope, and she doesn't care anymore."

After it was all cleaned up, Tsunade came and examined all the kids. Naruto and I were off the hook without doing anything too bad. Tsunade did look at me funny, but I explained that to her that I was 'helping' the process of making stronger ninja. The best part was when no one questioned why those kids didn't show up the next day, and the teachers gave everyone some bullshit explanation that they were sick, although on second thought, that might have been the case considering the 'prank' that I pulled. I got more detention on top of what I already had from the prank. I also got weekly visits to Tsunade's for psychological examination. That was just the first day, which made me feel great that I could do all this over again.

**Back at the Weapons Shop (Zabuza's House)**

"You have got to teach me those techniques!"

"Huh, Naruto I already told you that I will teach you when Tenten gets here."

Which Tenten just did, she came running in, yelling loudly, "Daaaad! One of my new teammates is so awesome! There's this guy, named Neji and he was able to block all my attacks!" This perked my interest, seeing as how she was at risk of becoming a fangirl, but I decided to ask about the other teammate. "Oh, he doesn't really matter much; he's just a taijutsu specialist, and nothing else. We're studying under some strange older version of the taijutsu guy, and they both have massive eyebrows that are really creepy. I think that they were wiggling." I sighed, and responded, "You know, I know the guys with busy eyebrows, and they are not so bad. That Neji guy is high on himself though. If you want to become stronger and faster, then you have to learn from the three of them. Right now, though, we have several jutsu to learn because Naruto wanted to learn them."

I saw that my daughter had mastered the ability to use killer intent, and that Naruto mastered the ability to shrug it off without a second thought, which means that I have done my job well. "Alright, there are still two hours until sundown, so we will practice the leaf teleportation technique, and after sundown we will begin the training for the hidden mist jutsu, let's get a move out!"

"Dad! I've got training tomorrow though!"

"And we both have school!"

"And I don't give half a rats ass as to what's going on tomorrow, if you get these two jutsu down fast then you get to sleep that much longer. Now we either move out, or we all get to do special training exercises that I devised and turned into the academy even though they were turned down for being cruel and unusual!"

That got their asses in gear, and now for that the threats are over, the teaching could begin.

**Nearing Midnight**

"I think that I'm making this too easy on you two…"

It looked like Naruto had already mastered the two jutsu that I had set for them, Tenten had the hidden mist technique down, but was working on the teleportation one, and I was sitting back watching them.

"What the hell Zabuza! You're doing anything but taking it easy!"

"Naruto, no whining, you already know how to use the jutsu, so keep on training until Tenten has a firm grasp of the concept."

Naruto was currently doing pull ups over an open vat of hot oil with large weights strapped to him. Not that I would let him fall in of course, but it does help with motivation.

"Tenten! Hurry up and figure it out already!"

"I'm trying as hard as I can so shut up!"

And then he slipped, why do they always slip? At least Tenten figured out how to teleport at that second and saved his ass.

"Zabuza! Were you really just going to let me fall into that vat of burning goo!?"

"Maybe, it is part of the exercise after all, but now let's go home I'm tired of watching you two train."

Now I run from two angry little kids and lead them home so tired that they have no choice but to sleep, and sleep is important. they have such a busy day ahead of them.

**Several Hours Later**

"Dynamic Entry!" CRASH

Ok, I was asleep, who the hell woke me up. They are going to, wait… 'Dynamic Entry'? Damn it, never mind. Well, time to go check the damage.

"Gai, next time ring the doorbell instead of smashing my wall in."

"Sorry Zabuza, my youthful friend, I will remember this next time, but where is my protégé, Tenten?" giving a thumbs up smile full of sparkling teeth, I have got to figure out how he does that.

"Gai, you're an alright ummm… 'Guy' and all, and with absolutely no disrespect, but do you ever knock, or check if the door is locked?"

"Why would I spend the time to check such trivial things as the door being locked when I can quickly open it the fun way?"

"Alright, let me go get her."

I charged off into Tenten's room, and smashed though the door. A large dust cloud was in the room, and Tenten squeaked.

"WAKE UP!! YOU'RE LATE FOR YOUR TRAINING WITH GAI-SENSEI!!"

And Tenten squeaked again before running out in her P.J.s, and running back in as I left to let her change in privacy. Now Naruto was up and running around with his stuffed toad looking shocked, "Yeah, we got to get to class now." And we went off to class, saying goodbye to Tenten, and Lee, whom were both now wearing weights.

**After School**

Well, this sucks, I was hoping that this would not have happened, but there was no way to I could have stopped it. It's a shame that they don't realize how much they are going to pay.

"What did we do wrong this time Zabuza?"

"We exist, therefore everyone hates us."

"Why is that?"

"There are no reasons sometimes Naruto."

He cried a bit, and I felt bad. I, Momochi Zabuza, the Devil of Konoha, assassin for hire, felt genuinely _bad_ at seeing a little kid cry. I am going to seriously hurt those that caused this to Naruto, but that would get me in trouble. So now it's time to make sure that Naruto remembers the rules.

"Don't think too much about it. We'll be able to prove ourselves eventually. Now, I am not feeling good, and you know what that means, right?"

"That you are going to come home drunk off your ass and me and Tenten need to stay the hell out of your way, right?"

"And they say that you're stupid."

"Who's they…" Naruto asked, squinting his eyes.

"That's the reward for finding out, here's a list of the people that think that."

I gave him a list, and he went off chuckling darkly to himself about the people on the list, and rubber chickens. I think that I had a bad influence on Naruto.

"And with that, OFF TO THE SLOSHING!!"

Okay, memo to self, do not speak aloud, people look at me funny…

**Near Evening**

**Naruto**

"Hee hee hee! Who am I going to prank first?" Asked a blond haired child burdened with random objects. People are looking at me funny, oh well. Now it's time to go through the checklist, rubber chickens… Check! Slugs… Check! Saki… Check! And clown nose with a hidden explosive tag… Check! Ready for the pranking, but why are people following me right now. Wait, are those ninja? Who's that blind guy that's coming to the front?

"Demon brat… Where's your guardian devil now?"

"What are you talking about? I'm no demon."

"We are going get you for all you did to our village!" And that guy that's coming to the front has the same eyes as the leader of the pack, "Hiashi-sama, please allow me to send that blasphemy back to the hell pit that he came from!"

Okay, time to run like hell, and not look back, and that's probably easier said then done. I ran through quickly dodged the open palm strike from the guy on the left and jumped on the window sill nearby. I began climbing up the wall, until something grabbed my ankle and threw me off from the building. It was leader of the mob, Hiashi.

"You did not think that you could get away that easily, did you?"

Man, this sucks, I'm too young to die! Wait, why is that Hyuuga guys nose broken, and what's holding me?

"Hiashi, attacking little kids now are you. Where has the honor of the Hyuuga gone?"

Wow, this guy is cool, his face is covered in long medical bandages, wearing one long, large, flowing scarf, and has white clothes. Only one eye is uncovered, and that eye's a brilliant blue.

"Who are you to dare challenge one of the main family branches?" Hiashi asked the kick ass one.

"The name is Akuma Zemanki! I've been charged with protecting this child, so just try and get us."

With a grin that was noticeable even with the bandages, he charged through the crowd, holding me closely. Hiashi tried to get some palm strikes in, but Akuma did a running front flip which helped him deliver a falling axe kick. He landed on his feet, and then flipped again covering me as he kicked some more would be attackers. He kept doing the same flipping technique moving through the crowd, moving forward, and spinning, at high speeds, whoa, I'm getting a bit sick.

"Akuma! Face me now!" It was the Hiashi again.

He landed on his feet, "Why? I've already proved my worth against all of you!"

"Then lets see-"

He never got to finish that sentence as Akuma threw me up in the air and I saw that he was flipping through hand signs at high speeds as he yelled, "Doton: Doryuu Taiga-no-Jutsu!" And he, he barfed on all of them… What the hell, is the ground mud now too? Now what's he doing?

"Doton: Doryuu Heki-no-Jutsu!"

And now it looks like the mob has been sandwiched between two large stone walls. Now I'm falling down, and he caught me, that guy is fast.

"Hell yeah! I've still got it." And now he's dancing, holding me up by one hand and OH CRAP!!

XXX

**Zabuza**

Well, it looks like I forgot to get someone to take care of Naruto while I was getting drunk, but that problem resolved itself seeing how that bandaged guy is taking care of him. It's pretty funny that he nearly crushed the majority of the pompous asses known as Hyuuga, but why is he dancing now… He just spiked Naruto into the ground… Time for the insta-sober pills to see what the hell is up with that guy.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You just smashed Naruto into the ground!?"

"Crap! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"

"Wait, do I know you?"

"That depends, what's your name?"

"No, you tell me your name first."

"Alright, my name is Akuma Zemanki! Protector of the small and easily squishable!"

"… I know who you are now, my name is Zabuza, have you found a place to stay?"

Now who is that trying to sneak in on our private conversation? Oh well, might as well throw a kunai as a warning shot.

"Whoever you are, come out, I can sense you there."

Well, she has light brown trench coat, purple hair, and fishnet clothes, no need to guess.

"Anko, what are you doing here?"

"Eh heh heh… Looks like we've been found out, we were here because we heard that you went off drinking again. So I thought that I should go and see if Naruto was alright without you. Looks like he wasn't, it's a lucky thing that we got here when we did, but why did you spike Naruto into the ground Akuma?" She turned her gaze at the bandaged guy, and I'm just glad that I wasn't being glared at by Anko.

"Sorry, I guess I got caught up in the moment." He said as he scratched the back of his head.

"Well, this is all good and fun Anko, Akuma, but we should go back to my place to discuss this further."

Not only that, but I don't really trust that these guys right now. They had such perfect timing, and it's time to interrogate these Anko and see what Akuma has been up to these years we've been apart. I pulled the now unconscious Naruto out of the ground and carried him off as we went back to my home.

**AN/ Yes, it took me a long time, but I wasn't getting any good ideas. That and I was trying to see how I could incorporate anyone getting spiked, and Naruto was just kinda being held there, in the ready position. So, who the hell is this strange Akuma Zemanki, why is Anko with him, how does Zabuza know the guy!? All this and more might not be even answered by me depending on how I feel. Peace! Tobi is a good boy!**

**Dekar Skeith**

9


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